Sunday, August 31, 2008

Why The Hell Can't I Do What "Where The Hell Is Matt" Does???

I just saw this video on someone else's blog and I am overwhelmed. I can't tell you what I wouldn't do to be this guy. If I had a left nut, I'd give it.

I could run around and goose people, or have hug fests or something...

Anyone interested in funding my adventure, step up and let me know!!! lol Ah well, I will keep watching this guy for sure, and if he ever comes to Ottawa, I'm gonna dance with him too!!!

Watch the video:


or check out his website at: http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/




Flush.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Bow-Chicka-Meow-Meow

Why yes, yes I do live in the house of cat porn.

Seriously, no wonder I'm lonely. I have this sort of shit to watch every day. They do it on my bed. They do it on the couch. They won't let me in. Even if I stick my head in the middle of them, I may get a lick or two but I'm not allowed entrance into the club. The Siamese Love Club. Sure, they'll let me take pictures, but that's about it. They sure as hell won't let the Maine Coon in either. I think her hair's too long and would just interfere with the excessive tonguing involved anyways. There would be a lot of hairball coughing , and these two are just too good for that sort of stuff. Short hairs only. POINTED short hairs, might I add... cough, cough.

When I die, I want to come back as one of my cats. One of THESE two, to be specific.

I guess the really sad part of all of it is that I DO try to stick my head in the middle of them... but am only able to usually just piss one of them off enough to leave, and break up the party. Oh, but I so want a good makeout session like theirs. Is that bad???

Ah well, I have to consider myself lucky just to be owned and tolerated by these two. My life wouldn't be the same without them. Lick away kitties, lick away!

Flush.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Because This Is The Way Life Is Sometimes.

This is me.















This is how I feel right now.














Wicked. 'Nuff said.



Flush.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Freezing My Way To Safety

I have a sweet tooth. Oh thank you genetics from hell. I have a sweet tooth the size of Texas.

I could eat sugary, bready, cakey foods till I'm dead. Honestly. Let's go over my top 5 list:

1. Cherry Chip Cake- not a birthday will ever go by where someone doesn't make me one of these. It's my "signature" cake. (Oh dear, I have a "signature" cake.)
2. Donuts- Not as widely known as my love for Cherry Chip Cake, but inside, I feel a bit like Homer Simpson when it comes to donuts. Drool and all.
3. Sticky Toffee Cake- If you ever end up in "Buttfucknowhere", Osgoode, Ontario at the Red Dot Cafe-- you have to try it (it's actually a date based pound cake kinda deal served with hot buttery creamy caramel sauce poured over top). I am known to order it when we're being seated-- 'cause sometimes they run out later in the evening- you have to be vigilant!!
4. Pancakes and Maple Syrup- Come on... it's breakfast... it's CAKE, it's socially accepted, AND you can pour delicious syrup all over it!
5. Shortbread Cookie BATTER- Forget cooking that crap. Give me a bowl of icing sugar (hell, I'll even take regular granular sugar), butter and flour. I'm in. Who ever came up with cooking it?

I can't imagine a diet without sugar. I've read some of the titles of those diet books (the ones aimed at people who love sugar) and quite frankly, they scare me. "Sugar Busters". Say what? It almost makes we want to start backing away from the title on my monitor, in a bit of a panic. *shudder*

Over the years I've been somewhat good at controlling the beast, or at least I think I'm balancing it somewhat, as I also love fruits and vegetables... especially the sweet ones. Haha. Seriously, it could be a lot worse. I don't weigh 200 lbs... right now (LOL!!!)... and I work my ass off at the gym so I can at least get *some* sugar in each day and so far, Mr./Mrs. Diabetes hasn't come calling for me.

My whole point to this lousy post is that I just about went apeshit on an Angelfood cake and Tub of CoolWhip (fat free of course) while I was just in the kitchen looking for a midnight snack. I bought it yesterday, and had a little bit earlier today, as the CoolWhip was still frozen and too hard to eat vast quantities of while still frozen. So, being the rocket scientist I am , I see it says on the container "Good for 2 weeks refrigerated". Well, how wonderful, I thought. I can just put that in the fridge then when I want a little, it'll be all thawed and ready to go. Yeah, BIG mistake. That, coupled with the lovely Angelfood staring at me on the counter became a "Rip and Dip" festival in the CoolWhip. It wasn't pretty. I felt bad desecrating the cake named after Angels for the love of god!

Anyway, note to self: Do NOT, I repeat, Do NOT ever attempt to take advantage of the "refrigeratability" of CoolWhip ever again. I am too weak.

If that would have been on my counter tomorrow morning staring me in the face, there would have be no hope for those poor angels of cake. May they rest safer in the freezer tonight.

Amen and Goodnight.



Flush.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

An Ode to Squiggy



Today, on the 11th birthday of my best friend Squiggy, I think it appropriate to tell the story of how he came to be my dog. 11 isn't the end, but he's not getting any younger.

Before the clinic I'm currently at, I worked at the Ottawa Humane Society for 6 years. Probably around my 4th or 5th year there, during the spring, we had yet another Parvovirus outbreak. Part of my job was assessing the sick and preparing the list for euthanasia each day, and when Parvo hits a shelter, your list gets big. The mortality rate in the very young and old is high, and it spreads like wildfire through a shelter environment.

I must admit I don't remember the exact details, but one day during my morning rounds I came upon this 6 month old little red pit bull terrier mix, who had broke with diarrhea and vomiting-- classic signs of Parvo. Looking at his sweet little face, I decided to try and save this one as he was a little bit older (6 months is enough of a headway to maybe fight the disease off a little more) and discussed it with some shelter staff who decided we should try with this guy. He had been brought to the shelter by Vanier Bylaw, roaming the streets, and after his "stray period" was up, had not been claimed. The shelters' gift to this little guy during his waiting period, was Parvo.

In went his intravenous catheter to support him with fluids while the virus took it's course, and then we would play a waiting game. During his first day on fluids, in the isolation ward by himself, he had managed to chew out his catheter. No big deal, puppies get bored- we replaced it. The day went on and he continued to do pretty well. At the end of the day, after everyone else had left, I decided to go check on the red pit bull. Of course, everyone had left the building, and Squiggy had chewed his catheter out... again. He had been so sweet with us earlier in the day, I thought I would just try and replace it myself. At that moment, as I stuck a needle into his leg, taped it in, and he lied there without moving an inch or making a peep, I knew this guy was special. A gentle little lost red boy.

Over the next couple of days, Squiggy continued to improve but then needed a foster home to go to while he finished shedding the virus. It was clear he was coming with me. I brought him home only to discover this wonderful, crate trained, house trained dog. Who gave him up? Who taught him to sit and then let him run around only to not come looking for him? I really found it mind boggling. He was probably the best foster dog I'd ever had. Sure, he liked to turn the living room into a giant cloud of pillow stuffing once in a while, but he really was amazing.

I have to say I've fostered many dogs, owned two with the "ex", but never have I known such a trusting and gentle dog. I would let him loose in a room full of toddlers with pork chops tied around their necks and not blink twice-- okay, figuratively speaking folks.... To me, Squiggy is the kind of dog you could close his tail in the door of a car and his first thought wouldn't be to bite the source of pain, but only cry out to make it stop. He's that kind of dog. The kind of dog I had to quit an obedience class with, because their "negative reinforcement" methods of correcting with a choke collar, turned my dog into a fearful, cowering dog every time he got "corrected". Well, I corrected that pretty quickly-- we quit.

He has been with me through failed relationships, various roommates and their pets, the passing of his "sibling" cats and 3 new ones and not even batted an eye. He was a blood donor for Alta Vista for many years, saving more than one life and giving up his own blood like a trooper-- and because I volunteered him for it. :P We've done (okay, tried) agility (not his forte), he used to run with me when he was younger, he's been on one too many camping excursions only to let me know that it's clearly not his thing and he's been my companion for the Humane Society's Wiggle Waggle Walkathon for about 7 years in a row now, helping me raise at least $20 000.00 for others in the same predicament as he once was

Through it all, he has been my buddy and I only hope that I can see that "breakfast face"-- (his favourite, most excited time of the day when he sees me coming with his bowl full of kibble, anti-inflammatories, and joint supplements)-- I only hope that I can see that face every morning, for many more days to come.

Thank you for being my friend Squiggy. Happy Birthday.


Mom



**Speaking of the Walkathon.... you can sponsor us again this year (Squig will be doing part of his walk in a wagon this year... damn arthritis) at: http://www.ohsre.ca/NETCOMMUNITY/Page.aspx?pid=190&srcid=292&frsid=839 **

Thanks!

 
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