Introducing.....

I got him at the grocery store. $3.99-- half price. I needed something new in my room. I got him home, unwrapped him from his crummy little plastic shield and "sproing"... out popped... Sideshow Bob. I don't normally name plants but I couldnt' help it with this guy. He now stares at me from my dresser. I kinda like it. :P

New Pretties

I like bling. Especially in the form of earrings.

Here are my newest. Just felt like posting them.

"Bling, Bling." "Who's there?"




And thanks to Shelby for helping out....


I need to stop buying everything in blue. Can someone remind me of that next time?


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It's One Minute Past Too Late

Why, oh why can't I give up and go to sleep?

When I was younger, I was the last person to go to sleep at a sleepover. Always. Keeping my eyes propped open with toothpicks almost, "just in case" something exciting were to happen. I still do it to this day.

Like now. It's 1:12 am. But what IF, I go to sleep, I miss something? Like the house down the street explodes and I sleep through the firetrucks? Like my cat decides to start a masterpiece painting on the floor in my bedroom? Like an email comes in telling me that I AM the lucky winner of the "you're up the latest" contest on the internet and I miss the million dollar payoff. (Wait, if I check my spam, I probably have one of those.) Like the moon turns an beautiful irridescent green and I miss the colour washing over the walls in my bedroom.... all cause I was SLEEPING.

Someone please come and physically knock me out. It's one minute past too late....




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A Good One....

Mother Nature.... You Jackass.

Oh, it's pretty now... but give it a month and I'll be cursing like a trucker.

Even this tree is screaming... "I'm not reeeaaaadddyyyy!!! I still have llleeeaaaavvveeessss"!

Oh well. If there's one thing to be said about living in this climate... at least I don't have to check my goddamn shoes for scorpions before I put them on. So yeah, I guess I'll take the damn snow.

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The Taser

I need to post this as I thought this was maybe one of the funniest things I've read in a while. I was almost crying reading it.... Enjoy. And if you don't laugh, what the hell is wrong with you??? :)


Yup, only a guy would try this!

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?
IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! 'If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.

A Sick Lady Punched Me...

I know this girl named Kim, and she was sick and talking about snot and kleenex, but she still managed to punch me. This internet thing never ceases to amaze me!!

5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago:

I was single (or pretty close)... just like now.
I was having a nervous breakdown and leaving the Humane Society to start working at my present job.
I was living downtown .
I drank like a fish.
I was still taking the damn bus!

5 Things On My To-Do List Today:

Sneak downstairs and turn up the effing heat. Cheap bastard.
Get the rest of my laundry out of the dryer. I will then be at "laundry equilibrium". Yay!
Brush my teeth before bed... I'm writing this at 10:00 p.m.
Play Scrabble (Wordscraper) on Facebook till I'm can't see anymore and pass out.

5 Snacks I Love:

Cherry Chip cake.
Sticky Toffee Cake from the Red Dot
Herdez Hot Salsa and Multigrain Tostitos
Cheese and Crackers and Pickles
Artichoke and Asiago Dip and ... anything.

5 Things I Would Do If I Were a Millionaire:

Buy my mom a house and wildlife rehab centre.
Buy my sister a house.
Build a new humane society.
Build a house on a lake and get myself one mean motherfucker of a Jetski.
Travel the world.

5 Places I’ve Lived:

This could be tough.
1. Welland, Ontario
2. Kingston, Ontario
3. Stittsville, Ontario
4. Ottawa, Ontario.
Uhhhh, that's it. I need to move.

5 Jobs I've Had:

Mold pourer at a ceramic shop.
Manager at a food kiosk at the Seaway Mall.
Clerk at 7-11
Parking at Scotiabank Place
Welder/ Flux Reclaimer at Welland Tubes/ Stelco.

5 People I Punch;

Dawn
Lesley

Well, once again, I have failed this fucking punching thing as I can only think of 2 people who may give a rats ass about what I write.. unless of course I can punch Kim back.

Ah well... that's all I got folks! Read it and weep!!!


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Laugh... or don't. And then you suck.

This made me almost cry..... laughing, of course.

I Hate The Good Old Proverbial Telephone

I hate the phone. I hate actually 'talking' on the phone. I never used to when I was younger, but the older I get, the more I hate it. I hate listening to voice mail as well.

I don't consider myself antisocial, I have no problems talking to people, interacting, social gatherings...you name it. But I fucking hate talking to people on the phone.

You can text me, email me, Facebook me, leave a comment on my blog, write me a letter and put it in the damn mailbox or come on over to my bloody house. I think it's the people who call just to 'talk'. To 'catch up'. To make me listen to the awkward and annoying dead spaces. The ones where you just want to blurt out that you really have nothing left to say, so let's end the torture right now. It's the people who can never hear me at the specified decibel level that's just right for them. Move the mouthpiece closer. Move it away. Move it back. All the while my phone is heating up at a rate of 2 degrees per minute and I'm sure it will be branding a mark in my head at any second. I'll move it...move it away from my head to press "end" and fucking get it over with. The only good thing about my phone actually ringing is 1. Caller ID (loooove it), and 2. Pressing the "ignore" button on my phone and sending your ass directly to voice mail... which I will then ignore until I feel incredibly guilty.

So anyway, if you're thinking about calling me for a good ole chat... please don't bother. Send me an email or drag your ass on down here. It's your best chance for getting a response.

Feel free to post any comments or email me. :)

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Sneaky Bugger

Okay, the suspense in this is better than ANY movie I think I've ever seen. I don't know how the person filming it could keep a straight face! I personally felt like running like hell from the cat!!! Creepy little bastard!
I'd be staying awake for a little while after this. lol

Sneaky Cat | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Oh yes, now there will be.

After 2 freakin' years of having no "family physician" (read: someone that actually gives a crap about going through my chart and making sure I'm alive and kicking), I finally got one today.

My old, wonderful doctor decided to up and leave me about 2 years ago after he decided to go back to the military. In what way or for what reasons I never did ask, but let me tell you I seriously entertained enlisting just so I could still have a doctor.

So there I was, a Doctor O'Neill "orphan" as one of the other docs at my clinic used to call me when I came to see her on walk-ins. There's nothing quite like a walk-in clinic situation. Unless you're overtly hacking up a lung in the waiting room, the whispered, "I need to see a doctor" to the receptionist always made me feel a bit shady. I always wanted to whisper after saying that... "the itch is getting worse". lol

I kept targeting the same doctor at my clinic. If she was on walk-in, I'd go when she was there. If I had any outside testing done, when they ask who your family doctor is, I'd say I don't really have one, but you can send it to her. When the time came for yearly physicals, she'd take pity on me, being an "orphan" and all, and squeeze me in for the "speed grope" version. I really liked her. My age, no nonsense, and run off of her bloody feet every time I saw her.

Today, I lucked out. Prepared for the "speed grope" physical, I was surprised that she also came armed with a couple of forms, as she was now going to "properly" take me on as a patient. As sad as it was, I was freakin' elated!!! I felt like when I was done the paperwork, we should have honeymooned or something... at least had a smoke together. (Nevermind, that's right, I quit.)

Ontario's doctor shortage is ridiculous. I feel for the families with kids who have to rely on walk-ins to take care of them. I really do. I realize that I am very lucky, which is very sad.

I'd love to tell you all who she is, but she really isn't taking any new patients and I swear to god, she swore me to secrecy about even telling anyone. So I decided to post it on my blog. Haha. Ah well, you can't have her anyways.... she's mine, all mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it only took two years.



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A Really Big Thanks....

A really big thanks goes out to all of my team members for the Ottawa Humane Society's 20th Annual Wiggle Waggle Walkathon.

I am proud of each and every member of the Alta Vista Animal "HotPistols" for every cent we raised. And raise we did, to the tune of $7500.00.

The Ottawa Humane Society has been a passion of mine since working there, almost 10 years ago. That's where Squiggy came from, and where a big piece of my heart still stays. I will never forget what it's like to work there, how hard it is to deal with the scum of the earth day in and day out, and to do a job which you know will never get done. Will I raise money to support those staff and their efforts to help save animals? Hell yes.

To all who put up with my pestering, nagging, whining, badgering, begging and bullying each year when the walk comes around..... THANK YOU. I believe we are making a difference. We are setting the bar for other corporate teams as we now, for the first time ever, have real 'competition' for next year. ("Helter Shelter", we're gonna kick your asses again!!) :) This "competition", albeit friendly, is what an event like this needs though. It sets the wheels in motion, gets people thinking of how to raise some serious cash. Hell, I'm already trying to think of ways to break ten grand next year.

So once again, although I've now said it a million times, I really want to say thank you to everyone who helped us out. We truly are speaking "for those who cannot speak themselves". And we just keep getting louder.

:)

--->Shameless press release plug: http://www.ottawahumane.ca/walkathon/

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Just "Devestation" after "Devestation"

So, I was watching the news when I heard about the closure of the John Deere Welland (Dain City) plant. This is sad. I grew up in Welland and industry is all it has. Well, I should say had... there have been many losses, the latest of which is the local John Deere.

While browsing through the news articles, I found this one, which sadly, demonstrates another loss. The loss of the proofreader at the Welland Tribune. Geeeeezus people... you fucked up the title for the love of god!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrgh. Go figure.

I'm not quite sure how I came out of that city to be such a spelling Nazi... maybe I should have stayed to help. Hahahaha.


"Plant's closure devestating say local, federal and provincial politicians"
Posted By Allan Benner, Derek Swartz and Kaesha Forand/Tribune Staff
Posted 3 hours ago
Welland
The impact will be “devastating.”
The loss of 800 well-paying jobs at John Deere's Dain City plant will have a ripple effect on the city.
“When you lose these well paying jobs in the community, the community is going to suffer,” said Welland Mayor Damian Goulbourne.
Just as the momentum was building towards getting this city’s industry back on its feet, the pending closure of one of the city’s largest private-sector employers “is a real blow,” he said.
“We’re back in the summer of 2003 all over again. But this is even more devastating because it’s even more jobs,” he added.
But Welland, he added, “is a resilient community. It’s always able to find a way to overcome and keep its head above water.”
Goulbourne learned about the pending closure at about 3:30 p.m., Tuesday. A few minutes later, he said he was on the phone with the plant’s general manager, Donald DeBastiani.
“I think everyone’s pretty shaken up right now from the front line staff to the senior management.”
He said he was hoping the city could play a role in helping the company change its mind and remain in the city.
“I have offered. They can use city hall if need be to help lobby other levels of government, if that’s where some of the solutions lie,” he said.
“Also if there’s anything that we can do from the city’s perspective, I’ve offered them that assistance, but it seems from all the feedback that I’m getting that the decision’s been made. But that door’s open and that offers there.”
There isn’t much, however, the city can do. Goulbourne said the problem lies with the value of the Canadian dollar.
“That’s a big piece of this,” he said. “How is any city or province able to control that?”
Goulbourne said he has also contacted the Ministry of Training, Colleges, and Universities, which offered any assistance it could to help the displaced workers.
The workers, he added, are “my number one concern right now. ... Our focus is on this tragedy that has fallen upon our municipality and the families.”
This isn’t a recession, said Welland MPP Peter Kormos.
“When it’s a recession, you lose jobs but then you get most of them back when the recession’s over,” he said.
This is worse.
“This is globalization and free trade – thank you Mr. (Brian) Mulroney, thank you Mr. (Jean) Chrétien coming home to roost,” he said.
It’s not that there’s not market for the machinery being manufactured in Welland. It’s simply that it’s cheaper to manufacture that equipment in Mexico.
“This is the very same crisis that existed a year ago. It’s the continuation of manufacturing job losses in the province of Ontario. It’s confirmation. If people didn’t think there was a crisis before, well they’d better start to think there’s a crisis now.”
In the midst of the crisis, Kormos said both the provincial and federal governments have done nothing but “wring their hands and say I feel your pain.”
“Neither of those governments have a plan to retain those manufacturing jobs. Neither parliament is prepared to sit to debate it,” Kormos said. “To be fair, we haven’t heard any discussion about the manufacturing job losses at the federal parliament.”
Kormos said the New Democrats have been confronting Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty regarding the issue of manufacturing job losses since the October election, “trying to ring alarm bells and trying to have him understand that he has a responsibility to develop a plan to save those jobs.”
Kormos said the New Democrats called for the provincial legislature to be recalled as recently as three weeks ago, to allow the government to work towards developing a strategies that could help keep manufacturing plants open.
He said the New Democrat’s “Buy Ontario” policy is one plan that could have helped save those jobs.
The province should also be looking at developing an industrial hydro policy, as well as allowing tax credits for new investment and new products and better technology.
“None of that would cost the taxpayer very much, if anything at all. But all of that would go a long way towards saving some of these jobs.”
Welland’s Liberal MP John Maloney’s thoughts were with the workers. “They’ve just had the bottom fall out of their lives, quite frankly,” he said.
And the federal government, he added, should be doing whatever it can to assist those people, he added.
“John Deere has been an industry in the Niagara Region and Welland for decades and this is just a shock. It’s just shocking.”
Despite the global economic pressures, rising fuel costs, and lack of support from the federal government, he said he thought John Deere was “very stable.”
Thanks to the quality of the products they manufacture, and the skills of the company’s workers, he said John Deere seemed like a plant that would whether the troubles that have laid others to rest.
The fact that they couldn’t, he added, is even more troubling.
“That’s troubling as well that even the most stable industry could be vulnerable,” he said. “That’s very upsetting and disconcerting.”
Maloney is expecting the closure to have a “huge economic impact, not only to the immediate job losses, but to the spinoff jobs to the companies that supply John Deere. They themselves, as a necessity, will have to cutback their operations as well. This may lead to significant job losses. Throughout the region. It’s going to have a huge economic impact on this region.”
Meanwhile, the federal government has done little to help the situation for Ontario’s industries.
Maloney said Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper and finance minister Jim Flaherty have spent the past two and a half years “delivering an anti-Ontario message to investors, and have neglected to support our struggling manufacturing industry.”
Maloney wrote a letter to the federal Conservatives less than a month ago expressing his concern about the lack of economic programs for the Niagara region and southwest Ontario, yet other programs to assist industry are available in other parts of the country.
“We’re a depressed area and we need help down here with a capital H. Frankly I don’t think the conservatives have any plan for our economy. In less than two years, they squandered a decade of economic growth and budget surpluses created by the previous Liberal government. That’s the reality.”
Maloney said he will continue to lobby the federal government for new programs “to help attract new industry and shore up existing industry. We cannot afford to lose major industrial plans like John Deere.”
In a media release, Maloney said “... Never have I seen such losses in Niagara. This is a huge loss for the city of Welland and the Niagara region. It is a profoundly sad day.”
Ward 1 Coun. Rick Alakas called the pending closure of John Deere “a huge loss. The first thing that I think of, unfortunately, are those workers and their families, and the impact that has on them.”
“But then you step back and take a breath and you realize just how large an impact this is going to have on the city of Welland and probably the region,” he said. “That’s 800 good paying jobs, wages and benefits that are gone immediately from the plant in November 2009, but then you start doing the multiplier. You realize for every person who’s earning a wage there, they’re spending money in the city of Welland or in other Niagara communities, never mind all the companies that are providing services to that facility. It’s a huge impact. Huge impact. It’s devastating.”
Although Alakas is also the president of CAW Local 523, which represents workers at Lakeside Steel and other employers, his local does not represent John Deere workers. But the same issues that led to plans to close John Deere are evident across Ontario – and Canada.
“This is what we’ve been talking about for some time now. Canadian manufacturing is under a huge threat,” he said. “We’ve lost well over 400,000 jobs in the last five years. We just set a record for 32,000 job losses in the month of July in Ontario alone.
“It’s a nightmare,” he said.
Port Colborne Mayor Vance Badawey was shocked by the announcement, the pain from which will be felt throughout the region.
“It’s in Welland and they get the (tax) assessment, but it directly affects Port Colborne,” he said shortly after hearing the news.
Badawey feels terribly for the 800 workers and their families. But he said the closure presses home the point that Niagara needs help from provincial and federal governments to create a level playing field
“This is becoming too chronic in Niagara. Blows like this – whether it’s General Motors or John Deere – are regional blows.”
On August 25 the mayor asked Port Colborne city council to consider a motion calling on the provincial and federal governments to extend economic development programs to Niagara such as those that exist in northern and eastern Ontario.
Even before the John Deere closure Niagara had the lowest median income of any census metropolitan are in Ontario.
“I hope (the closure) gets the attention of the provincial government, the minister of economic development and cabinet itself,” he said.
Wainfleet Mayor Barb Henderson also did not have advance warning of the announcement and was left reeling by the latest body blow to Niagara’s manufacturing sector. She echoed Badawey’s concern for the families directly affected.
She said the region has to look at working to come up with solutions to help Niagara’s disappearing manufacturing base.
“I don’t know what the answer is but we need to look at it regionwide,” she said.
The agricultural community of Wainfleet is familiar with the famous green machinery and equipment produced by John Deere.
“News of the plant closure comes as a shock to us. It certainly isn’t something we anticipated. I know a lot of Wainfleet residents work at John Deere due to its close proximity to Wainfleet,” said Wainfleet CAO Scott Luey.
“We’ll be sad to see them leave,” the Niagara area.

The link to the above article... http://www.wellandtribune.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1182209&auth=Allan%20Benner,%20Derek%20Swartz%20and%20Kaesha%20Forand/Tribune%20Staff

Anyway, it all makes me sad. *sigh*



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Why The Hell Can't I Do What "Where The Hell Is Matt" Does???

I just saw this video on someone else's blog and I am overwhelmed. I can't tell you what I wouldn't do to be this guy. If I had a left nut, I'd give it.

I could run around and goose people, or have hug fests or something...

Anyone interested in funding my adventure, step up and let me know!!! lol Ah well, I will keep watching this guy for sure, and if he ever comes to Ottawa, I'm gonna dance with him too!!!

Watch the video:


or check out his website at: http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/




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Bow-Chicka-Meow-Meow

Why yes, yes I do live in the house of cat porn.

Seriously, no wonder I'm lonely. I have this sort of shit to watch every day. They do it on my bed. They do it on the couch. They won't let me in. Even if I stick my head in the middle of them, I may get a lick or two but I'm not allowed entrance into the club. The Siamese Love Club. Sure, they'll let me take pictures, but that's about it. They sure as hell won't let the Maine Coon in either. I think her hair's too long and would just interfere with the excessive tonguing involved anyways. There would be a lot of hairball coughing , and these two are just too good for that sort of stuff. Short hairs only. POINTED short hairs, might I add... cough, cough.

When I die, I want to come back as one of my cats. One of THESE two, to be specific.

I guess the really sad part of all of it is that I DO try to stick my head in the middle of them... but am only able to usually just piss one of them off enough to leave, and break up the party. Oh, but I so want a good makeout session like theirs. Is that bad???

Ah well, I have to consider myself lucky just to be owned and tolerated by these two. My life wouldn't be the same without them. Lick away kitties, lick away!

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Because This Is The Way Life Is Sometimes.

This is me.

This is how I feel right now.

Wicked. 'Nuff said.



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Freezing My Way To Safety

I have a sweet tooth. Oh thank you genetics from hell. I have a sweet tooth the size of Texas.

I could eat sugary, bready, cakey foods till I'm dead. Honestly. Let's go over my top 5 list:

1. Cherry Chip Cake- not a birthday will ever go by where someone doesn't make me one of these. It's my "signature" cake. (Oh dear, I have a "signature" cake.)
2. Donuts- Not as widely known as my love for Cherry Chip Cake, but inside, I feel a bit like Homer Simpson when it comes to donuts. Drool and all.
3. Sticky Toffee Cake- If you ever end up in "Buttfucknowhere", Osgoode, Ontario at the Red Dot Cafe-- you have to try it (it's actually a date based pound cake kinda deal served with hot buttery creamy caramel sauce poured over top). I am known to order it when we're being seated-- 'cause sometimes they run out later in the evening- you have to be vigilant!!
4. Pancakes and Maple Syrup- Come on... it's breakfast... it's CAKE, it's socially accepted, AND you can pour delicious syrup all over it!
5. Shortbread Cookie BATTER- Forget cooking that crap. Give me a bowl of icing sugar (hell, I'll even take regular granular sugar), butter and flour. I'm in. Who ever came up with cooking it?

I can't imagine a diet without sugar. I've read some of the titles of those diet books (the ones aimed at people who love sugar) and quite frankly, they scare me. "Sugar Busters". Say what? It almost makes we want to start backing away from the title on my monitor, in a bit of a panic. *shudder*

Over the years I've been somewhat good at controlling the beast, or at least I think I'm balancing it somewhat, as I also love fruits and vegetables... especially the sweet ones. Haha. Seriously, it could be a lot worse. I don't weigh 200 lbs... right now (LOL!!!)... and I work my ass off at the gym so I can at least get *some* sugar in each day and so far, Mr./Mrs. Diabetes hasn't come calling for me.

My whole point to this lousy post is that I just about went apeshit on an Angelfood cake and Tub of CoolWhip (fat free of course) while I was just in the kitchen looking for a midnight snack. I bought it yesterday, and had a little bit earlier today, as the CoolWhip was still frozen and too hard to eat vast quantities of while still frozen. So, being the rocket scientist I am , I see it says on the container "Good for 2 weeks refrigerated". Well, how wonderful, I thought. I can just put that in the fridge then when I want a little, it'll be all thawed and ready to go. Yeah, BIG mistake. That, coupled with the lovely Angelfood staring at me on the counter became a "Rip and Dip" festival in the CoolWhip. It wasn't pretty. I felt bad desecrating the cake named after Angels for the love of god!

Anyway, note to self: Do NOT, I repeat, Do NOT ever attempt to take advantage of the "refrigeratability" of CoolWhip ever again. I am too weak.

If that would have been on my counter tomorrow morning staring me in the face, there would have be no hope for those poor angels of cake. May they rest safer in the freezer tonight.

Amen and Goodnight.



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An Ode to Squiggy

Today, on the 11th birthday of my best friend Squiggy, I think it appropriate to tell the story of how he came to be my dog. 11 isn't the end, but he's not getting any younger.

Before the clinic I'm currently at, I worked at the Ottawa Humane Society for 6 years. Probably around my 4th or 5th year there, during the spring, we had yet another Parvovirus outbreak. Part of my job was assessing the sick and preparing the list for euthanasia each day, and when Parvo hits a shelter, your list gets big. The mortality rate in the very young and old is high, and it spreads like wildfire through a shelter environment.

I must admit I don't remember the exact details, but one day during my morning rounds I came upon this 6 month old little red pit bull terrier mix, who had broke with diarrhea and vomiting-- classic signs of Parvo. Looking at his sweet little face, I decided to try and save this one as he was a little bit older (6 months is enough of a headway to maybe fight the disease off a little more) and discussed it with some shelter staff who decided we should try with this guy. He had been brought to the shelter by Vanier Bylaw, roaming the streets, and after his "stray period" was up, had not been claimed. The shelters' gift to this little guy during his waiting period, was Parvo.

In went his intravenous catheter to support him with fluids while the virus took it's course, and then we would play a waiting game. During his first day on fluids, in the isolation ward by himself, he had managed to chew out his catheter. No big deal, puppies get bored- we replaced it. The day went on and he continued to do pretty well. At the end of the day, after everyone else had left, I decided to go check on the red pit bull. Of course, everyone had left the building, and Squiggy had chewed his catheter out... again. He had been so sweet with us earlier in the day, I thought I would just try and replace it myself. At that moment, as I stuck a needle into his leg, taped it in, and he lied there without moving an inch or making a peep, I knew this guy was special. A gentle little lost red boy.

Over the next couple of days, Squiggy continued to improve but then needed a foster home to go to while he finished shedding the virus. It was clear he was coming with me. I brought him home only to discover this wonderful, crate trained, house trained dog. Who gave him up? Who taught him to sit and then let him run around only to not come looking for him? I really found it mind boggling. He was probably the best foster dog I'd ever had. Sure, he liked to turn the living room into a giant cloud of pillow stuffing once in a while, but he really was amazing.

I have to say I've fostered many dogs, owned two with the "ex", but never have I known such a trusting and gentle dog. I would let him loose in a room full of toddlers with pork chops tied around their necks and not blink twice-- okay, figuratively speaking folks.... To me, Squiggy is the kind of dog you could close his tail in the door of a car and his first thought wouldn't be to bite the source of pain, but only cry out to make it stop. He's that kind of dog. The kind of dog I had to quit an obedience class with, because their "negative reinforcement" methods of correcting with a choke collar, turned my dog into a fearful, cowering dog every time he got "corrected". Well, I corrected that pretty quickly-- we quit.

He has been with me through failed relationships, various roommates and their pets, the passing of his "sibling" cats and 3 new ones and not even batted an eye. He was a blood donor for Alta Vista for many years, saving more than one life and giving up his own blood like a trooper-- and because I volunteered him for it. :P We've done (okay, tried) agility (not his forte), he used to run with me when he was younger, he's been on one too many camping excursions only to let me know that it's clearly not his thing and he's been my companion for the Humane Society's Wiggle Waggle Walkathon for about 7 years in a row now, helping me raise at least $20 000.00 for others in the same predicament as he once was

Through it all, he has been my buddy and I only hope that I can see that "breakfast face"-- (his favourite, most excited time of the day when he sees me coming with his bowl full of kibble, anti-inflammatories, and joint supplements)-- I only hope that I can see that face every morning, for many more days to come.

Thank you for being my friend Squiggy. Happy Birthday.


Mom

**Speaking of the Walkathon.... you can sponsor us again this year (Squig will be doing part of his walk in a wagon this year... damn arthritis) at: http://www.ohsre.ca/NETCOMMUNITY/Page.aspx?pid=190&srcid=292&frsid=839 **

Thanks!

Ho-Lee Cur-rapp-ola.

Holy crapola is right. Holy crapola I am in a bad mood, that is. Yes, there you have it. Suck it up Buttercup.

Anyways, I was driving home from work this evening, and I was listening to CBC (this happens occasionally- don't get too excited) and they were talking about "hypermiling". I found this very interesting for the following 3 reasons:

1. Money, money, money. Cha-ching. It can save us ALL money... and pretty decent amounts of it as well.

2. The trees, the bunnies, the butterflies, etc.... the environment. Less waste.

3. Political reasons, if you're so inclined. Here's your way of sticking it to the "man" selling you your fossil fuels. Stick it to the "man", or the country he's running.

So what great thing could "hypermiling" be, that's FREE, and has all of the above benefits? Check out: http://www.cleanmpg.com/cmps_index.php?page=hypermiling

Happy trails! (Look for me in the slow lane, with a giant buffer in front of me!!)

A lovely photo of my very own little gas pig..... but I do love Red Rose. :)

Flush.

The past few days.

I don' t have a lot to say. Period. This past week/weekend has been pretty much uneventful except for some shooting, banging, adding/subtracting, cutting and of course, working.
For reasons of protecting the innocent, we won't go into what happened to who and or/when.

The sleepy bears have passed out. I had to put this here. It was necessary. :)

I have been reading a lot of other people's blogs lately to see what everyone's writing about. Some of them I find interesting, some make my head hurt trying to get through the giant paragraphs of crap. Therefore, no one's really helping me out with what to write in THIS one. lol I guess I'm on my own here. Perhaps it will hurt my head to read this later as well. Hahaha.

I really like the "ha ha's" and the "lol's". I am a Haha, LOL whore. Great.

Anway, one more week to go, and I'm off for a few days. NO work. Prepare to keep me busy, Ottawa! :)


Flush

Wal Mart- Come in with little, leave with less.

I had to go to WalMart after work today, and for a Tuesday night, it was craaaaaaazy busy. I think, I mean it must, be a welfare cheque week or something because the merch. was flying off the shelves and the line ups were incredible.

There were shop vacs, bathroom shower curtain rods, bath puffs, milk, baby clothes, razors... you name it. It was truly like a low income festival... and kind of sad to watch. This is where Wal Mart makes their money. From all of the carefully placed impulse items before the cash registers to the strategic middle aisle displays full of scented candles, Pringles and Axe body deodorant.

From dreadlocks to dirty feet in cheap flip flops, the colours are as varied as the Fruit Loops in the carts. There are bad tattoos garishly displayed on braless teenage girls with bad teeth and boyfriends in braces funded by their parents. Families with mothers that look like they need about a week of sleep and a makeover, fathers with bloodshot eyes and threadbare t-shirts and pre pubescent dirt-caked kids that look like they should go through a car wash-- without the car. We wait in line, to get to cashiers who speak broken english, and look like they can barely afford the bus fare to get to work on a good day.

Welcome to Wal Mart. Come in with little, leave with less.

And don't you forget it.

6 months... no puff puff.

HA! Congratulations to me, congratulations to me! 6 months, not a single drag. Feels goooooooooooood. I'm patting myself on the back. Yay. Here's my quit stats from my Canadian Cancer Society Quit Meter thingy.....

Donna's Quit Stats
Since Wednesday, January 16, 2008, I've been smoke-free for:182 Days, 22 Hours, 35 Minutes, 8 Seconds.
I have saved $1,254.81 by not smoking 2561 cigarettes.By not smoking I have added16 Days, 7 Hours, 35 Minutes, 40 seconds.to my life expectancy.

Can I just say HOLY FUCK?? 2561 Cigarettes? That is craaaaaazy. Think of how many times I did the hand to mouth thing. Wow.... I'm surprised my right arm hasn't atrophied and fallen off.

Will I be a reformed smoker? Nah, probably not horribly so, but there are things which piss me off about other people smoking already..

1. The extra 'free' time all the smokers at work get. Seriously... I don't take smoke breaks now, and where's my smoke break time? Seems like some sort of fucking right you have as a smoker, that you lose as a non smoker. Somehow, sneaking outside to watch the birds for a quick 5 just doesn't seem to have the same effect.

2. The 'waiting' for smokers... "hold on, just give me a sec. to find my lighter", "give me a minute to have a smoke first"... etc. Do it on your own time. Don't waste mine anymore!

I totally notice the smell on people now.. it does kinda stink. I also notice it on pets whose owners smoke. They're all the ones getting fucking tracheal stents or cancer. Yippee. Don't smoke in the house with your pets. Or your kids. Come on people!!!

Anyway, that's my rant for today. I'm pretty tired as the new roomie's alarm clock got me up at 5 a.m. this morning... while he SLEPT through it. I have no idea. Noooooooo idea.

Flush

Back I Went.

So, today was back to work. Not a bad day really, pretty tame compared to what it could have been. Tomorrow looks eeeeeeevil unfortunately. We'll see how that goes. As I was thinking the day before yesterday, I did lose a couple of patients over the past week. A couple, I am glad to see go, as they were owners who just couldn't let go and the time for these pets had definitely come... and gone... and come back... and gone. You get the picture. It's a relief some days.

Tomorrow will be my 6 months of no smoking. I'm surprised I've made it this far, but I'm pretty sure this is it. No matter how much I LOVED smoking (and I did), I HATED quitting. I don't want to have to go through it again. I also can't forget about the health benefits, etc. It's too easy to forget/push aside all of those things and light up.... you have to keep reminding yourself of WHY you quit. I still have a written list in my gymbag which I just saw the other day. It still contains all the reasons I quit, and they all mean just as much to me. So, I'm still not smoking.
I think I actually need to stop talking about it before I go and light up. hahaha Mmmmmmmmmmm..... inhale...... exhale......... I can smoke in the blog, right???? ;-)

Well, I don't really have much to say today... so I'm going to bed. Will do this later in the week again if I'm still coherent.

Flush.

Almost over....

Well, tomorrow is the last day of my first bit of vacation this summer. What have I done? Not a whole hell of a lot... Went to Bluesfest, I think, 7 out of the 10 days? Not too bad. Slept.... a lot. Stayed up late.... a lot. Got back into the gym like I should be.
I don't really think that being off without a lot to do has been a good thing for me. Too much time to think? Someone told me it was "good for the soul", but I'm thinking me and my soul are not on speaking terms right now, so that really didn't work for me.
I'm not sure what the deal is, but I feel a little something going on... change? Something wicked this way comes? Something wonderful this way comes? I'm pushing for something positive. I've decided to start getting rid of some thing that I've had for a while, or simply don't need anymore. For one, all of my stained glass stuff, which I haven't touched in, oh, SEVEN years. I know, I'm slightly sad about it, but truthfully, I just keep dragging this stuff around. I think 7 years is a pretty good indication it's not high on my list of priorities. It's time to go. There are also a couple of pieces of furniture I'll be offering up as well. I just have too much stuff. Time to purge.
Perhaps I'll finish off my week tomorrow by cleaning out some other stuff... more purging. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to work... for a while anyway. I miss my patients and only hope they're all doing well still. I hate going back to find that some of them have gone while I was off. That reallllllllllly sucks.
Anyway, that was today.

Flushhhhhhhhhhhh.

Spilling.

I am putting these in
to prevent what they have inside,
to prevent what I have inside,
from coming out.

When they open
a million tiny pieces fall,
unpreventable and unstoppable,
they come out.

When I open
a million tiny electrical charges go off,
like a childs birthday sparkler,
until it's out.

A Dark Grey

I was just reading something online, while looking for answers to a question I have been wondering about-- "Can reading depressive articles/stories/literature, actually make one depressed?" Or do you think that you already have to be in a certain state of mind to come out of it even more negative/depressed than when you started?
So far, I think the answer is yes, it is possible, and probably more so possible if you have depressive tendencies. I haven't found any actual studies, but rather some blogging about it.... http://http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/01/does_melancholy_literature_dee.html Interesting.

The other thing that I read and stuck with me (again, from the blogger above), is: "About the only thing we know in this country about the French writer Henry de Montherlant is that he came up with the phrase "happiness writes white" - in other words, you quite simply don't feel like writing, or such writing makes no impression, if you're feeling fine." Again.... iiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting. I think I can relate to that a lot of the time.

Anyway, there's MY depressive reading for you today. Hope you're still smiling.

Here's a courtesy FLUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Jumping right in...

Ha ha ha ha ha.
So I start to write this, I come up with a few lame lines which took me a bit to think about, then I delete the whole shitty mess in one fell swoop. I love it! This bodes well.

Discovery #1- That's what the save button is for you idiot.

Now, that's better. So what do people do in these? I know crap about politics, so that's out. I am trying to "get into it" but man... sooooo much stuff. Does this make me a bad person? I'm trying.... a little.

I could talk about animals... till I'm blue in the face. I'm supposing that will actually come up a few times should I happen to keep this up. You will learn to love my pitbull... or I will "sick" him on you. lol This picture is clearly him in the "upside down, flip off the couch from a sleeping position" attack pose. God I love ya Squiggy!!



I may talk about Matt Good. I saw him in concert recently and I'm feeling semi-obsessed with him right about now. If you'd like to visit HIS blog... which is really interesting... it's http://http//www.matthewgood.org/. Check it out. Tell him I love him. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

Looking forward to emptying my brain here on a regular basis!

Whoooooooooooooooooooo..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!